LIVING my life

Ephesians 2:4-6, But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.

I've always thought that was more for people that hadn't grown up in church. Not to say that my salvation is less than one who chose to follow Christ later in life. I just didn't feel as though I had a contrasting life of being "dead in my transgressions" and then "being alive with Christ," the way a drug addict/alcoholic/prostitute would. Being raised in church and being a Christian since I was very young, I didn't ever really stray from what I knew to be right. So when reading that I was made alive with Christ, I honestly skimmed over it. Talking about it on Sunday in my small group has really changed my life. Someone else in the group mentioned having the same church kid mindset I had, that our past just wasn't as "dead" as others so it was hard to know what being "alive" feels like. All week I've been coming back to that verse. I know that the Bible isn't partly true. I know that it all applies to me. So, how is this passage supposed to affect my daily living?

This week I have had some very real, very humbling moments. I have found myself frustrated with my husband, my kids, my house, my life. One day, while trying to escape my frustration, I began to pray. I didn't want to be easily angered, I didn't want to snap at my kids. I just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong though. So, how could I fix it? Then it hit me: this is where I've needed to be living in Christ. Instead of starting my day seeking him and what he wanted for me, I had been going through my day, operating on my own. I had my schedule, my attitude, my life going the way I figured it should. When things started sucking, I'd seek God for the fix. I hadn't been living in Christ at all. He was the afterthought when I had screwed things up. As soon as I realized that, another thought came, "I am doing what I've dreamed of all my life and here I am, griping about the very blessings I've asked God for." You see, I've always wanted children. I've always wanted my own house. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I've always wanted a husband. I prayed and asked God for each of these things for years and years, and here I was complaining about them all! Instantly, my heart sank. I've been SO careless. I've been given these blessings, these treasures, and all I've been doing is managing to struggle through each day. For me, being alive with Christ has become my focus. I don't want to just "get through my day" anymore. God did not send his son to die for my sins so that I can go through life and be miserable as I manage the blessings he's given me. At the end of that passage, it says that God raised us up and seated us with Christ. I need to start living like it!

I challenge you, start living your life. I'm not saying there aren't sucky things that happen. I'm not saying that you should just slap a smile on and muscle through. I'm asking you, I'm imploring you, don't be content to "just get through" each day. There's more to life than that. Seek out what he wants, how he wants you to act, what he wants you to say. Live in obedience! God wants HIS BEST for you, that starts with having a relationship with him. Relationships aren't so great when there's no communication. Talk with him. More importantly, listen to him! He has a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 says so! Trust in him every step of the way. Ask him to give you wisdom and guidance at the beginning of your day. He is the creator of the universe, for cryin' out loud. I think he can handle your bad day. Stop living for yourself. Stop thinking you've got it all figured out and that your way is best. Stop thinking you've got all the answers. You don't! The one who hung the stars probably has a bit more figured out than you do. Remember, it's because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ!

Wow, I got pretty heated at the end there. Please read this and know that wherever you are in life, God is working. You may not recognize it, but he is. You are loved. Your life matters.

P.S. I don't claim to have this all down perfectly. I'm sure I will still struggle with allowing God to be the complete boss of my life. However, from now on, I will know that this verse is meant for me and how I can apply it to my life. And, in not doing so, I know I will be disobeying. So, please don't think I would be foolish enough to think that I won't ever have a bad day again. I simply hope that I can regroup and remember who really should be in charge of my life.